Chapter 1891 – Return of The Mount Hua Sect
Chapter 1891. You Can Do It. (11)❀ ❀ ❀
There wasn’t much to say. They simply sat side by side, silently drinking.
It was an awkward scene, neither a proper drinking bout nor drinking alone, but sometimes, that much was enough. People can find comfort just from the presence of another at their side.
A quiet land blanketed in darkness. From afar, the sound of insects drifted.
It felt almost unbelievable that just half a day ago, countless people had fought a brutal battle, killing and being killed. Now, everything was so peaceful and still.
“How’s your body?”
Breaking the silence, Cheong Myeong asked offhandedly.
“Should I say fine, or…”
Baek Cheon hesitated a moment before shaking his head.
“I’m not sure. I can’t explain it properly myself. It’s my body, but somehow it doesn’t feel like mine. Familiar, and yet there’s this strange sense of alienation mixed in.”
Cheong Myeong nodded.
“You’ll get used to it.”
“…..”
“It’s changed, but that’s all.”
Baek Cheon also nodded quietly. If Cheong Myeong said so, then it must be so. Still, strangely enough, the words lingered in his mind.
“It’s changed, but that’s all… Will it really be?”
This time, Cheong Myeong didn’t nod. He knew Baek Cheon’s question carried a different meaning.
“Cheong Myeong-ah.”
“Yeah.”
“There are probably some who will never hold a sword again.”
“And maybe… some won’t live to see the morning.”
Cheong Myeong lowered the bottle he had lifted.
Baek Cheon stared at it deeply. No, more precisely, at Cheong Myeong’s hand clutching it. That hand trembled faintly.
“…Soso will have it tough.”
“Yeah. She hasn’t even had time to settle her heart… and yet she’s already tending to patients again.”
“…..”
“She’s truly strong.”
“Just like the patriarch.”
“Yeah. Just like you said. Like Patriarch Tang.”
Baek Cheon gave a bitter smile as he echoed the words.
Another silence fell between them. Unlike before, when words weren’t needed, this was a heavy silence born of things they wanted to say, but couldn’t bring themselves to voice.
“Didn’t you… have more you wanted to say back then?”
When Baek Cheon asked, Cheong Myeong tilted his head slightly.
There was no need to ask when “back then” was. Cheong Myeong knew as well.
This time, a bitter smile tugged at Cheong Myeong’s lips.
“Well… I suppose I could have.”
“…..”
“Rambling on and on… saying everything I wanted to say. I could have done that.”
Cheong Myeong’s gaze lingered in empty space.
It was a truly vacant gaze.
“But would it have reached them?”
Baek Cheon couldn’t answer. No one could know.
“What’s lost is lost.”
“Cheong Myeong-ah.”
“Meaning is nothing more than what the living create to fill that absence. No matter what words are spoken… in the end, it’s just clumsy self-consolation.”
Baek Cheon took a sip of liquor. He felt no urge to refute Cheong Myeong’s words. Perhaps that was the truth.
And yet, a question rose.
“Is that so wrong, then?”
“…What?”
“That clumsy self-consolation. Is it wrong?”
Cheong Myeong glanced sideways at Baek Cheon.
Their eyes met in the air, Cheong Myeong’s uncertain gaze and Baek Cheon’s sunken one.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I never said it was my—”
“Then why won’t you allow yourself even that small consolation?”
Cheong Myeong fell silent, as if words had failed him. Baek Cheon shook his head and continued.
“You’re thinking it again, aren’t you. That if you’d done better, if you’d acted just a little sooner, Patriarch Tang might not have died.”
Cheong Myeong looked at him with a hard-to-read expression and asked,
“Are you saying that’s not true?”
“Maybe it is.”
“And?”
“Cheong Myeong-ah. Being lacking is not a sin.”
Cheong Myeong’s shoulders quivered slightly. Baek Cheon’s gaze pierced him.
“There’s no need to regret not being perfect. No, one mustn’t. If you gave your all, then that alone carries meaning. Just because you couldn’t grasp a perfect outcome doesn’t mean you should condemn yourself.”
“I…”
“If Patriarch Tang could speak to you right now, what do you think he’d say?”
Cheong Myeong closed his eyes. There was no need to think about it. He would have smiled and said there was no need. Tang Gunak was that kind of person. But still…
Before Cheong Myeong’s thoughts could sink deeper, Baek Cheon muttered softly.
“Sometimes… even self-reproach is nothing more than an escape.”
Crack.
At those words, sharp as if stabbing into his chest, Cheong Myeong unconsciously clenched his fist tight. Baek Cheon glanced at him and let out a quiet sigh.
“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to accuse or scold you. It’s just that…”
“What do you mean?”
“…..”
“Those words just now.”
Baek Cheon’s face stiffened slightly as he met Cheong Myeong’s heavy gaze. He let out a short sigh.
“….When my dantian shattered.”
There was no bitterness in his voice. Yet hearing it, Cheong Myeong unconsciously bit his lip.
“I blamed myself too. Thought maybe it was my carelessness that brought this about. If only I’d been more cautious, more composed, maybe it wouldn’t have come to this.”
Cheong Myeong silently nodded. If he had been in that situation, he would have thought the same.
“But… what really terrified me wasn’t that.”
“…I don’t quite understand. What do you mean?”
“What if, in truth, I hadn’t done anything wrong at all?”
Cheong Myeong’s lips trembled faintly. Baek Cheon went on calmly.
“What if, no matter what choices I made, this result was inevitable? That even if I always chose the best path, my dantian was destined to shatter, and I was destined to live as a cripple the rest of my life?”
Baek Cheon looked straight into Cheong Myeong’s eyes.
“Could I have accepted that?”
Cheong Myeong averted his gaze and brought the bottle in his hand to his lips. Yet in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to drink, only parting his lips.
“…Were you able to accept it?”
“Well.”
Baek Cheon shook his head.
“It wasn’t about accepting or not. I simply acknowledged it. Because in the end, it was something I couldn’t undo. All I did was resolve to do my best with the me that exists now.”
“…..”
“Even if to someone else it might look like meaningless struggling, it’s still better than just collapsing where I stood.”
Cheong Myeong gave a faint nod and murmured softly.
“That’s why, Sasuk, you’re strong.”
He tilted the bottle he had stopped and drank, then looked toward the distant sky, unable to erase all the bitterness from his face.
“Yeah. Sasuk might be right. Self-reproach is, perhaps, the easiest path. But, you know…”
“…..”
“If someone does everything they can, yet still cannot avoid loss, then what reason does one have to live?”
After a pause, Baek Cheon stretched out his hand and lightly patted Cheong Myeong’s shoulder.
So cautious was that touch, it could hardly be called comfort. Perhaps what Baek Cheon wanted to convey wasn’t consolation at all, but simply his presence.
“It would be nice not to lose anything. If nothing slipped away from our hands… Yes, like you said, that would be most wonderful. But, Cheong Myeong-ah.”
Baek Cheon spoke calmly.
“There are things one can only understand because they’ve lost.”
So it was for Baek Cheon as well. He only understood because he had lost.
“Of course, you already know that.”
One who never loses cannot know the value of what they hold. One who never experiences loss cannot grasp the meaning of what they touch.
And yet, Baek Cheon could not be certain whether this obvious truth would mean anything to one who had lost too much, and who now trembled in fear.
Clink.
The liquor in the bottle trembled faintly. Taking a deep swig of the strong drink, Cheong Myeong glanced at Baek Cheon and gave a small laugh.
“You’ve grown up a lot, Dongryong-i.”
“…I’ll let that pass today.”
Baek Cheon shrugged his shoulders and drank with him.
“Brooding ends today. Starting tomorrow, I’ll kick your ass back into shape, so be ready.”
“You trying to break your leg?”
“After all the beatings I’ve taken, that much doesn’t even hurt anymore.”
“You’ll think differently once it snaps.”
The two traded meaningless jests, until, without either knowing who started it, they both burst into laughter.
“Sasuk.”
“What is it?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I did trust you, Sasuk, but honestly, I wasn’t certain. Still… I couldn’t think of any other way.”
“As long as the result is good, that’s all that matters.”
“But earlier you said—”
“Eh. Words change depending on the moment.”
“…What a bastard.”
Cheong Myeong shook his head in exasperation.
Perhaps because his immortal qi had grown markedly deeper than before, Baek Cheon gave off the scent of someone from the past. Like the young Cheong Mun in his days, who, without ever breaking what he had to uphold, yet somehow seemed freer than Cheong Myeong.
“Diancang… would not have had regrets.”
At the word Diancang from Baek Cheon’s mouth, Cheong Myeong’s hand twitched. Baek Cheon didn’t bother looking at it, continuing instead.
“The Sect Leader entrusted the remaining disciples to me. It won’t be an easy task, but… they’re good children, kind children. Someday, they’ll spread Diancang’s name through the world again.”
“Like Mount Hua?”
“Yeah… like Mount Hua.”
Baek Cheon nodded.
“It’s the duty of the living to carry on.”
Cheong Myeong’s gaze calmed. His vision filled with the sight of Baek Cheon looking up at the night sky.
Cheong Myeong had wanted to carry Mount Hua’s will into this era. And now Baek Cheon sought to pass on another will to the future.
One line carried forward into another. Perhaps that was what the world was, in the end.
“Sasuk.”
“Mm?”
“…Thank you.”
Baek Cheon’s eyes widened. Cheong Myeong, embarrassed by his shock, asked,
“What?”
“…To think I’d live to hear those words from your mouth.”
“…..”
“I must’ve misheard, right?”
Cheong Myeong ground his teeth.
“I’ll let it pass today.”
“Yeah, just today.”
The two laughed, as though they had agreed on it beforehand.
Nothing changed because of their talk. Nothing was solved. The scars carved into their hearts would never fade.
And yet, even so, there was someone to share the same sky with. Cheong Myeong thought that perhaps, that alone was enough.
Then, glancing back over his shoulder, he spoke.
“…If you hadn’t brought liquor, I wouldn’t have let you join.”
“You petty bastard.”
“At least I brought mine.”
“What? Sahyung! And you didn’t even tell me?”
“Why should I take care of that for you? Look. I even brought Sago along.”
“…Seriously. Am I the only one…”
Before they knew it, Jo Geol had wandered over, clutching at his head. He shot resentful looks at Yoon Jong and Yoo Iseol, both holding bottles in their hands.
Cheong Myeong burst into loud laughter.
As his mouth opened wide with laughter, tiny tears shimmered faintly at the corners of his eyes.
Over the quiet earth spread raucous voices and the biting scent of liquor, like a song of mourning with no rhythm.
Those who briefly stirred at the noisy sounds from afar stroked the sorrow knotted in their chests and drifted back into slumber.
And so, until the dark night passed and dawn broke, the voices went on endlessly, like a song without end.
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