ROTMHS Special Spin-off - Chapter 12

Chapter 12. I Can’t Do This Anymore. Seriously. (2)

“Get in there, you wretch!”

“Aaagh!”

The boy who was thrown into the jail rolled across the ground and sprang back up as if bouncing. But before he could even fully turn his body, the jail door slammed shut.

The boy—Seok Hanbin—quickly clung to the bars and shouted.

“No! Why are you locking up an innocent person!”

“Haha. Innocent? Then you’re saying you’ve never eaten up Lord Song’s money?”

 “How is that even a crime! Those loan-sharking bastards—and the people behind them—they’re all the same! What’s so death-worthy about skimming a bit off that!”

[tl note: 죽을죄. Literally ‘a crime worthy of death’ used rhetorically to protest excessive punishment.]

“Tsk tsk. Such a brazen little brat. Go on, yap all you want. Last time it ended with a flogging, but it won’t be like that this time. At this rate, you’ll get penal servitude no matter what. You're going to have a tough time if you want to make it back alive.”

[도형(徒刑). Dohyeong. One of the Five Punishments in traditional law; forced labor, often in harsh conditions such as mines or public works.]

“Eek!”

Seok Hanbin’s mouth fell open, and he shook the bars violently.

“What did I do that’s so wrong that you’re throwing me into the mines!”

“It’d be one thing if what you skimmed was just a coin or two. Don’t waste your strength—save it for swinging a pickaxe.”

“W-wait! Just a second!”

As the constables snickered and turned away, Seok Hanbin hurriedly called out again.

“No, hey! Don’t be like that! Just come over here for a moment.”

“What trick are you trying to pull now?”

“I’m locked in a cell—what kind of trick could I pull? It’ll just take a moment. I really have something to say.”

“What is it?”

Though wearing incredulous expressions, the constables stepped closer again. Seok Hanbin quickly scanned left and right to make sure no one was nearby, then whispered.

“How much do you make?”

“….Huh?”

“Your salary. Your stipend. As constables, it can’t be that much, right?”

[tl note: 녹봉(祿俸) — official stipend/salary paid to government personnel.]

“This bastard—seeing that I’ve been letting it slide, now you—!”

“Shh. Lower your voice.”

Seok Hanbin grinned.

“Now, let’s think about this. Why was I arrested?”

“Isn’t it because you committed fraud, you impudent brat?”

“Right, right. I swindled the money. So then—where do you think that money went?”

“Hmm?”

The constables’ eyes narrowed slightly. Seok Hanbin lowered his voice even more.

“You’ve caught the person, but you haven’t recovered the money. Doesn’t that mean the money’s somewhere?”

“Well…”

“And how much did I swindle again?”

The constables fell silent. The amount this brat had taken was something they could never even dream of. Wasn’t Lord Song—the richest man in Jinan—been raging like mad?

“U-uh…”

As the constables let out low murmurs, seemingly realizing something, Seok Hanbin curled his lips into a smile and whispered even more conspiratorially.

“Don’t you need money? With that money, you wouldn’t have to go through all this hardship. You could build a big estate somewhere quiet and live in luxury for the rest of your lives. No?”

Yeah… if they had that money, they wouldn’t have to struggle like this…

“You bastard, trying to pull something again!”

The constable who had been drifting into sweet fantasies snapped back to his senses at his companion’s voice. For such a young brat, he spoke far too well—he had almost been taken in.

“R-right! You think we’d fall for this? Trying to bribe us!”

“Fall for what? Why would I trick you?”

“How are we supposed to trust a swindler!”

“Come on—someone’s only a swindler when they’re outside the cell. How’s a guy locked inside supposed to pull a scam?”

“…..”

“I’m stuck in here—what good is money to me? Better for me to share some and get out, right?”

Before the constables could respond, Seok Hanbin tapped the bars of the cell with his fingertip—tak.

“Let’s split it cleanly into four. You each take one, I take two.”

“W-why do you get two? Even if we split it, it should be three shares.”

“Come on, that wouldn’t be fair. You two just take the money, look the other way, muddle things a bit, then slip off somewhere else and live well. But me? I have to run from now on.”

“….Hm.”

“Look, even just that much is enough to live in luxury for life. No need to suffer. Just leave this cell door open—I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Then how are we supposed to get the money?”

“How many exits are there from here? To leave the Yamen, there’s only the main gate, right?”

[야문(衙門). Yamen. Government office/administrative compound in traditional China.]

“Wait there. When I come out, we go together to get the money.”

The constables’ eyes wavered even more.

He was still just a small brat—there was no way he could climb over the high walls of the Yamen. In the end, he would have no choice but to pass through the main gate. And since the Yamen in Jinan didn’t keep guards posted at the gate, once he got out of the jail, there’d be nothing to stop him from escaping.

“Well? What do you think?”

Seok Hanbin rubbed his hands together quickly. Judging by the hazy look in the constables’ eyes, it seemed like they were just about fully taken in—

Thud.

“Kweeeek!”

Struck on the crown of his head by a cudgel that came flying through the bars, Seok Hanbin collapsed flat on the spot.

After writhing in pain for a moment, he sprang back up like a coiled spring.

“Why are you hitting me!”

“Tsk tsk. Look at this impudent brat. Trying to bribe a constable.”

“Ah, this is ridiculous—you people really don’t get it! That’s why you’re still just constables!”

“Don’t bother, you wretch. Did you think I wouldn’t know you’re flat broke? Everyone around here knows you ran some business near Qinghe and went completely under. Tsk tsk. You incompetent fool, yet you have a big mouth.”

“Incompetent? Incompetent, you say?!”

Sparks flew from Seok Hanbin’s eyes.

“How is that my fault! How is a person supposed to stop a flood! If anyone’s incompetence, it’s that magistrate who botched the flood control!”

[지현(知縣). Jihyeon. County magistrate, the official in charge of administering a county.]

“Sure, sure. Next time, go tell that to the magistrate yourself. If you can, that’s it. Tsk tsk. You little evil ghost. Can’t let our guard down for even a moment with you.”

[소악귀(小惡鬼). Soakgwi. ‘Little evil spirit/ghost’ used figuratively for a troublesome, wicked brat.]

“No, I’m serious—I really do have money! You’ve just been living getting fooled—”

Thud.

Flop.

The constables smacked Seok Hanbin’s head again with a cudgel to silence him, then clicked their tongues as they turned away.

“He was rotten from the start.”

“Damn, I almost fell for it even knowing better. Lord Song even called us aside and warned us that the brat had no money and not to fall for his tricks, and yet for a moment…”

“That’s why this little punk’s notorious all over Jinan.”

“Tsk. Still, what a shame.”

“What’s there to regret? Let’s go have a drink. We caught him—won’t Lord Song give us a generous reward? Ha ha.”

Even as the constables grumbled and walked off, Seok Hanbin remained sprawled on the ground. After lying there fuming for a while, he rolled over and lay flat on his back, limbs splayed.

“Ah. It’s ruined. Completely ruined.”

Staring up at the ceiling of the cell, Seok Hanbin’s face twisted.

“Damn it. The plan was perfect.”

He had deceived Lord Song and even secured a large sum through loan-sharking from the Black Water Gang. All that was left was to slip away and leave Jinan.

“What the hell were those black-clad bastards!”

The reason his plan had fallen apart was simple—when he returned home, there were strange people waiting inside. Caught off guard, he had no choice but to act differently from his original plan.

“Aaaargh! The more I think about it, the angrier I get! What the hell were those guys! And why did I panic like that back then!”

Seok Hanbin scratched his head roughly in frustration.

What could he have done? When several armed men he had never seen before were sitting inside his house—how could anyone not be startled?

“Haah…”

He let out a deep sigh.

“Penal servitude, huh…”

Being dragged off to a mine or labor site and made to toil for years—that was what penal servitude meant. And the reason it was considered a heavier punishment than simple flogging was…

“They say one in three dies, was it?”

Among those taken to the mines, not many returned. He had heard that not even one in three came back with their bodies intact.

And even those who did return were ordinary cases. Seok Hanbin had already made enemies of the Black Water Gang, so the chances were high he would end up as bones discarded in some remote corner of a mine. Even thinking optimistically, nine out of ten would die.

Which meant, simply put—if he got dragged away like this, he was as good as dead.

“Ugh. I’ve got to come up with something.”

The future was a problem, but the present was worse.

The condition of the jail was, in a word, abysmal. Filthy, damp, crawling with rats and insects.

Food? Even ordinary civilians often went without meals—what country would bother feeding criminals? If the state provided food to those who committed crimes, there would be no shortage of people committing crimes just to get locked up.

“Last time I got locked up, I nearly starved to death…”

Would this time be any different? He might die before even being sent to penal servitude.

“Uuugh…”

Groaning in frustration, Seok Hanbin tossed and turned restlessly.

Sure enough, the moment the constables disappeared, the rats began creeping around again. Good grief—look at the size of that one. It was practically as big as a forearm. A forearm-sized, white—

“A weasel?”

Seok Hanbin shot upright, doubting his eyes.

Out of nowhere—no, out of a jail cell—what kind of weasel is this?

But the real reason he got up wasn’t just because a weasel had appeared.

It was because that weasel, as if it were a person, was wearing black clothes.

“Am I seeing things…?”

A weasel wearing clothes? What next, a flying tiger? It’s not like a dragon or a vermilion bird—those don’t even show up in imagination like this…

Kiiik!

But the weasel before his eyes, as if to prove it wasn’t some illusion, walked straight toward Seok Hanbin.

On two legs, not four.

“Uh…”

A weasel shouldn’t have an expression—but somehow, from that small face, it felt like it was saying, ‘This is such a damn hassle.’

Shuffling forward on two feet, the weasel suddenly shoved its forepaw into the front of its clothes and pulled something out.

Something metallic, worn smooth from use…

“T-that can’t be… a key? The jail key? For real?”

Seok Hanbin’s mouth fell wide open.

If his eyes weren’t deceiving him, it was definitely the jail key one of the constables had earlier. How in the world did that weasel get it?

But the weasel, as if even explaining would be a bother, casually tossed the key in front of him.

Kiiiik!

Then it stretched out a forepaw and pointed at the cell door—as if telling him to hurry up, open it, and get out.

“…..This is insane.”

As if possessed, Seok Hanbin picked up the key and staggered toward the door.

Pow!

“Aaagh!”

At that exact moment, Seok Hanbin clutched his backside and tumbled forward.

Kiiiik!

“Ah, I get it! I’ll just do it quickly!”

What kind of weasel is this aggressive….

The weasel flicked the tip of its extended hind leg impatiently. Seeing that, Seok Hanbin shook his head without thinking.

“No, seriously, how does this make any sense?”

Still dazed, he reached his hand through the bars, grabbed the lock, and slowly pushed the key in.

“There’s no way this opens unless I’ve gone mad…”

Click.

“…..”

Clink.

Staring at the lock that opened so easily, Seok Hanbin felt his soul slowly slipping out of his body.

“….It opened.”

There’s no way this should work… it shouldn’t be possible…

Creeeak.

The unlocked cell door slowly swung open. As he stared blankly at the sight, the weasel suddenly leapt onto his shoulder.

Then it stretched out its forepaw straight ahead.

“….Yeah. Let’s go.”

Who cares anymore, damn it. First, get out—think later!

Biting down hard on his lip, Seok Hanbin sprang out of the cell without hesitation.

And then—

“Ahem. I told you to search properly.”

“That’s strange. I definitely put it in my pocket earlier.”

“If you put it in your pocket, how would it just disappear? You must’ve dropped it somewhere.”

“I don’t think I did, so why—ah.”

“…..”

“…..”

Seok Hanbin’s eyes met those of the constables walking into the corridor of the jail.

They stared at each other in silence for a long moment.

After standing frozen like that, Seok Hanbin let out a sigh and spoke.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’d believe this either.”

“…..”

“It wasn’t me who stole it—the weasel here took it and brought—”

As he reached up to his shoulder, Seok Hanbin tilted his head. The weasel that had definitely been there was now gone without a trace.

“…..”

“Whatever.”

Seok Hanbin smiled faintly.

“Let’s take it easy.”

The constables’ cudgels came flying straight toward his face.

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