ROTMHS Special Spin-off - Chapter 18

Chapter 18. No way, right? (3)

“Cough… this has to be….”

The assassin reflexively grabbed the sword he had dropped.

“W-what the…?”

He forced his head up. His wandering gaze locked onto Seok Hanbin. No, more precisely, onto the small thing at Seok Hanbin’s feet.

“A weasel?”

The assassin stared blankly at the white weasel, then lifted his head and met Seok Hanbin’s eyes.

Faced with that look—one that seemed to demand an explanation—Seok Hanbin found himself speaking without thinking. It was hard to ignore the desperation in those eyes, even if the man was here to kill him.

“…I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I don’t really know what’s going on either.”

“……”

“Seriously.”

Only then did the assassin’s gaze leave Seok Hanbin and return to the weasel.

“…Ugh.”

It still seemed impossible for him to accept that he’d been sent rolling across the ground by something so small, but an assassin was still an assassin. He soon pushed himself up and steadied his stance.

“…A spirit beast?”

The assassin tightened his grip on the sword until the blood drained from his hand. A thick, murderous intent, uncharacteristic of an assassin, flowed from him. A ferocity incomparable to when he had lunged at Seok Hanbin just moments ago.

Feeling that chilling aura, Seok Hanbin glanced at the weasel without meaning to.

Kkyu?

The weasel simply looked back at Seok Hanbin with an utterly nonchalant expression. (Honestly, it even looked kind of cute.)

[tl note: Seok Hanbin’s comment was literally in brackets, lmao]

“C-can you handle that?”

Seok Hanbin knew how absurd this was. No matter how strange the situation, trying to talk to a weasel made no sense. But what happened next was even stranger.

Kii?

The weasel looked at him like he was ridiculous, then snapped its head toward the assassin. And then—

Flick.

It flicked one front paw forward and wagged a single toe at him, as if beckoning him to come closer.

Watching that, Seok Hanbin muttered blankly,

“I need to visit a Taoist temple or something… or maybe a monastery….”

So I stop seeing things like this… yeah.

“This…!”

To Seok Hanbin, it was simply absurd, but it seemed it wasn’t so for the assassin.

“How dare a mere beast…!”

Grit.

The assassin ground his teeth so hard it was painful just to watch.

Even someone like Seok Hanbin, who didn’t know much about the jianghu, knew assassins were supposed to stay calm—but honestly, he couldn’t blame him.

‘How are you supposed to stay calm when a weasel provokes you?’

Especially if you’ve trained in martial arts.

If Seok Hanbin were in his place, he’d probably be raging about turning that damn weasel into a scarf.

While Seok Hanbin was sympathizing with him on a purely human level, the assassin kicked off the ground.

“Haaah!”

He didn’t shout curses like Seok Hanbin had imagined, but that short shout made his intent perfectly clear.

Fwoosh!

This time, the sword shot toward the weasel, not Seok Hanbin—fast enough that the eye could barely follow. A fierce strike, enough to make even an untrained Seok Hanbin flinch—

Bang!

It veered off to the side.

“…Ughh.”

The assassin’s eyes bulged. At the exact moment the blade was about to pierce it, the insane weasel casually kicked the flat of the sword—not even with its front paw, but its hind leg—twisting the trajectory aside.

Flick.

Then it flicked the same foot in the air, as if mocking him.

“G-Gaaah!”

The assassin’s sword lashed out into empty air again and again.

But not a single strike—no, not even the faintest edge of it—could touch so much as a hair on the weasel…. yes, not even one strand of that soft, fluffy fur.

The weasel simply raised a forepaw and lightly tapped the blade with the tips of its paw, knocking every strike aside.

‘This is insane.’

Seok Hanbin couldn’t even laugh anymore.

Maybe he was already dead—cut down by that assassin—and this was just some hallucination he was seeing after death. He’d never heard of dead people dreaming, but that still made more sense than this being reality.

Kiiik.

At that moment, a small sound slipped from the weasel’s mouth—if he had to interpret it, it sounded something like, ‘Are you done playing?’

Then, in the next instant, it kicked off the ground and leapt—

And smacked the assassin square in the face with its tiny forepaw.

KWAAAAANG!

Struck by a forepaw so small it made the word tiny meaningless, the assassin was sent flying like a cannonball once more, crashing straight through the wall.

“Ugh… ggh…”

He tried to rise from beneath the collapsed wall, staggering to his feet—only to collapse face-first again.

“N-no way…”

Thud.

His head hit the ground.

Tsk.

The weasel, watching the whole scene, flicked its forepaws as if dusting them off, looking thoroughly annoyed.

“…Uh.”

Seok Hanbin looked back and forth between the unconscious assassin and the clothed weasel—then just burst out laughing.

‘I don’t even know anymore. At this point.’

There had to be something you could make sense of before you could even try to interpret it.

How was he supposed to interpret a situation where a weasel had beaten down an assassin hired by the Black Water Gang?

But for the weasel—Baek-ah—it was just as absurd.

Among the spirit beasts of the distant Southern Beast Palace, Baek Jeon ranked among the very strongest. Even spirit tigers that could tear apart several peak-level masters would tremble at a single step from him.

Yet, how dare some insignificant assassin run toward him?

Tsk.

Baek-ah shook his head.

Maybe he’d lost some of his dignity after being harassed for so long by things that weren’t quite human(?). Or maybe it was because Cheong Myeong kept poking at his eyes with his finger, going, ‘Can’t you make your eyes look nicer?’—so much so that his outward aura had completely faded.

Letting out a long sigh, Baek-ah turned to look at Seok Hanbin.

Ki! Kii! Kiii!

Then he started yapping at him, pointing repeatedly with his tiny forepaw.

“…Why are you yelling at me?”

Just as Seok Hanbin was about to despair over this ridiculous situation—

“Is it here?”

Two figures jumped down from atop the wall.

“There you are.”

“You’re getting scolded.”

“…Uh.”

Seeing the two Taoists appear out of nowhere, Seok Hanbin quietly lowered the stick he’d been holding. At this point, he didn’t even have the energy left to be surprised.

“As expected, Baek-ah’s good at finding peop—…what’s that?”

Tang Soso’s eyes narrowed sharply when she spotted the assassin embedded in the wall.

“Why did you hit someone again! I told you not to cause trouble!”

Kiiiii!

“No, this kid! Look at you pointing! I’m telling sahyung on you, you know?”

At the word ‘sahyung’, Baek-ah flinched and immediately pretended nothing had happened.

Watching that, Seok Hanbin gave a faint smile.

‘Why are these people not finding it strange that a weasel just beat someone senseless?’

It hadn’t even bitten him—it had smashed a person into a wall.

So why were they treating it like nothing?

Was he the one who’d gone crazy, or was the world the one that had gone mad?

At this point, Seok Hanbin just wished this absurd dream would end already.

“But why is this guy—…huh? He’s holding a sword?”

“An assassin.”

“Huh? You said an assassin, sago?”

“Yeah.”

Yoo Iseol nodded expressionlessly. Tang Soso frowned slightly, but didn’t bother asking why she thought so.

If Yoo Iseol said it, then it was true. She could see far more than they could.

“Did he attack you?”

Seok Hanbin silently nodded.

“Hmm, yeah? Then he really is an assassin. What should we do….”

Tang Soso muttered as she stared at the man stuck in the wall.

“Should we just kill him? He is an assassin. Or… is that too much? Maybe we just cut the tendons in his limbs?”

Seok Hanbin’s body began to tremble.

“What should we do, sago? Kill him?”

“No.”

“Ah… right. We shouldn’t kill people so easily.”

“If he dies like that, he won’t even realize it. Too easy. Tie him up and take him. Give him to sajil.”

“Ah, that works. But…”

Looking around, Tang Soso let out a small sigh.

“There’s nothing suitable to tie him with. Can’t be helped.”

…Huh? What do you mean ‘can’t be helped’? Then what are you—

Thud.

‘Hiiiiiiik!’

Seok Hanbin’s eyes widened threefold.

Tang Soso suddenly pulled out a long needle as thick as a man’s forearm from her sleeve—and drove it straight into the fallen assassin’s body.

“If I pin him here and here, he won’t be able to move…”

Thud. Thud. Thud.

“……”

“Hmm, just in case, maybe one more?”

Thuuud.

Each time a needle was driven in, the unconscious man twitched and convulsed.

Honestly, it was a blessing he was out cold. If he’d been conscious while those needles were going in, Seok Hanbin would’ve been ready to recite even the color of his ancestors’ undergarments twelve generations back on the spot.

“Mm. That should do it. Then now…”

Tang Soso spun around and looked at Seok Hanbin. With a spotless, innocent smile, she spoke gently,

“Would you mind coming with us for a bit?”

“……”

It really was a pure, bright smile. But Seok Hanbin’s eyes couldn’t help drifting to the long, gleaming needle sticking out between her fingers.

“…Where should I go?”

“It’s nice that we can communicate.”

First things first, survive…..

✿ ✿ ✿

Kiiiiii!

“Back already, you little weasel!”

Wham!

The weasel was kicked clean into the air.

Baek-ah, who had proudly strutted in through the door, ended up doing an involuntary midair flip after Cheong Myeong spotted the empty liquor bottle.

“You stole booze again? Seriously! What kind of damn beast keeps chugging alcohol like this?!”

Kii! Kiiiik!

“What are you squeaking ‘kiik’ for like you did something right?! Damn it!”

Cheong Myeong kicked Baek-ah again as he lunged back at him.

Watching the weasel spin through the air, Seok Hanbin’s expression turned half-enlightened.

‘So basically…’

The Black Water Gang couldn’t catch him, so they hired an assassin. That assassin got knocked out by a weasel. And that weasel is now getting kicked around by that Taoist…..

No, never mind. Forget it.

“I can’t believe this damn weasel learned to drink. This is insane.”

“You taught him, Cheong Myeong-ah.”

“Me? When did I ever?”

“…Yeah. Let’s just say you didn’t.”

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?! Get back here! I’ll skin you alive!”

After yelling and pointing for a while at Baek-ah, who had already bolted out the door without looking back, Cheong Myeong finally turned around with a growl.

“What’s that supposed to be?”

“They say he’s an assassin, sahyung.”

“An assassin? What assassin all of a sudden?”

“He came after this kid.”

“Huh?”

Cheong Myeong looked back and forth between Seok Hanbin and the assassin, then let out a deep sigh.

“Seriously… just how much trouble have you been causing…?”

“What should we do? We brought him here for now.”

“Should we hang him from that tree over there?”

“Wouldn’t that kill him?”

He already looks dead… no, honestly, dying might be better.

“Grab a passing beggar and tell him there’s an assassin here—have him report it to the branch. The Beggar Union will handle it.”

“Ah, that works.”

Tang Soso nodded.

They themselves didn’t have anything to extract from the assassin, but the Beggar Union would. Information about his organization, the people he’d killed—things like that would be useful.

“And it eases the conscience a bit.”

“Call it interest. Interest.”

“Yeah, that sounds better.”

With the assassin dealt with, Cheong Myeong finally turned his attention to Seok Hanbin.

“Hmmmm.”

Seok Hanbin flinched slightly, but he didn’t look afraid. This time, he hadn’t done anything wrong—so he figured he could at least act a bit confident.

“First off, uh…. uh. Ughh...”

And honestly, part of that confidence came from the fact that this Taoist in front of him kept acting like a dog that needed to take a dump every time he looked at him.

“Sit down over there.”

“Yes.”

Seok Hanbin obediently sat down. Cheong Myeong sat across from him, frowning deeply as he spoke.

“Alright. So what are you planning to do now?”

“…What?”

“How are you going to make a living? In a world like this!”

Seok Hanbin tilted his head without thinking.

For some reason, it felt like he was facing an older relative he hadn’t seen in a long time— (not that he had one.) A little awkward, a little uncomfortable.

✿ ✿ ✿

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